A.D.H.D. Is making me C.R.A.Z.Y.

Liam is in a battle with ADHD and right now the ADHD is winning. I am partly to blame. I agreed with his father to take him off his medication because I knew the only way his father would realize that the medicine is necessary would be for him to see how Liam was without it. So now we are bombarded with notes from his teacher about his behavior and inattentiveness all while dealing with a cranky, unhappy Liam who feels like he can’t do anything right.

There is more to it than that. Liam also makes no effort at all to control his impulses or to try to pay attention. I don’t know if that is because he really and truly can’t make an effort or if he just doesn’t want to. I would like it and appreciate it if he would make an effort to be aware of what he is doing and try to modify his behavior.

I would also like all the parts of his 504 plan to be implemented, not just some of them. Why does the plan clearly state that he will be given special accommodations for tests but only now has the teacher said they can’t provide those accommodations? What’s the point of hammering out that plan if we are going to follow it half assed?

While his teacher is mostly wonderful, she is doing nothing by telling him he is annoying her and telling him he is exhausting and announcing to the kids that she doesn’t care if she is hurting their feelings. No good is going to come from that, she is only further damaging his already fragile self esteem.
Truthfully, I’m worn out. Managing his ADHD is supposed to be a collaborative effort, but I am the only one participating in it. Just as his teacher is tired of hearing excuses from him, I’m tired of hearing that everything is his fault. He’s nine! I’ve had ten meetings with this teacher. They are all the same. “He is extremely intelligent but I lose him during the day and I don’t know where he goes. He isn’t even aware that he has drifted off. He has to make more of an effort. He has to grow up. It isn’t his fault , I know he has no control over it”. Am I supposed to have an answer for this? He’s my first kid. I’m learning as I go. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and what might work today might be wrong tomorrow. I know the kid needs his meds, they help. I know he needs to burn off steam and I know he needs reminders. I know he is nine and he acts like he is nine. I don’t know if he can pay attention just because he wants to and I don’t know if he has any control over his impulsivity or his daydreaming. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing by him, but I’m pretty sure his school isn’t either. I know he is mine, he is awesome and I love him. I think his teacher needs an anti cranky pill and a vacation.

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About Jen

I am a working, full-time mom to three beautiful children, ages 9 1/2, 3 1/2 and 15 months. My blog is partly therapy for me, part journal of my children's memories and partly a source of advice or atleast humor to other parents out there in the big world. While my children are my greatest joy and accomplishment, I am trying to maintain my individuality AND be a great mom. I am hoping to do this without screwing my kids up. Somedays are wonderful and I feel extreme gratitude to these little people that have completed my life. Other days, they seem to suck the life right out of me. I try to approach it all with a sense of humor and full knowledge that parenting can lead to alcoholism and brain damage. Please feel free to comment on any posts and suggestions are welcome .
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5 Responses to A.D.H.D. Is making me C.R.A.Z.Y.

  1. tric says:

    How very tiring and trying. Your son is still a baby(9 is still very young) and very much a work in progress. I presume over time you will find certain things that work and others that definitely don’t . However it sounds like at the moment you are carrying too heavy a load on your own. I hope you can find decent support. I also think your right, his teacher probably needs a break, so is less effective than she should be.

  2. It is totally unacceptable to have an accommodation plan and then find that the school is not living up to their end of the plan. If you are getting no where with the teacher then it is time to start dealing with the principal and the local superintendent. You need to know what your child’s rights are and speak up firmly to demand them. I’ve had a son that needed accommodation for test taking and it is totally appropriate to ask very specifically what a teacher will do not just in theory but in practice.

  3. tric says:

    I listed your blog in my nomination list for awards.. You can ignore the award if you like as they are so much work, but i wanted to acknowledge your blog as I enjoy it.. If you do wish to accept any you can take your pick. http://mythoughtsonapage.com/2013/05/09/blog-awards-a-big-thank-you/

    Reply ↓

  4. Michelle says:

    I think a lot of managing this kind of behavior is a combination of patience and growing up. It sounds like your son needs a great deal of physical outlets for his energy. It would be nice for him to be able to do a lot of this since it’s in his nature. However, like you questioned earlier in your post, it’s also important for him to begin to learn self-control and will power. The world will not always accommodate him with a 504 plan and it is crucial that he learn the skills to help himself as he grows. Good Luck with all of this!!!

  5. lifeoftransition says:

    Amen

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